Sai's Experience

A Woman; a female human being, the opposite of males. Women. I've seen them all the time. Some are like Ugly, some are like Beautiful and others are like.......Hinata. I've noticed that all women aren't the same. Ugly, for instance, is mean, loud, and majorly bi-polar.....it makes me wonder if it is that time of the month for her all the time. Beautiful is vain, and self loving most of the time. While Hinata is......different. I've read books on women, how they act and what they usually do. But this girl is somewhat......interesting. She's the quiet type. Shy, kind, gentle and is to herself most of the time. Which makes me even more curious. I'd been watching her for sometime now and she is very promising. I learned she used to have some sort of affection or a 'crush' as you would call it, on my colleague, Naruto. I also learned that he is in love with Ugly.....how could that be? But none the less, she does not seem to show these feelings any longer, which makes me feel.....happy.

Happy. Hmm...a strange word for me to say.....how do I feel it? I'll find out sooner or later. I also notice that women show their affections towards that of the opposite sex, in the strangest of ways. I know for a common fact that Ugly, or Sakura, deeply loves Naruto, but doesn't want to show it, so, in turn, shows it through verbal and physical abuse, and still, to this day, I'll never understand why.

Currently, all of us were having a good time. Talking and joking of course. My cell, team 7, was enjoying time with team 8, the exact cell that Hinata is in. Even now I watched her, doing so that no one would notice me doing it. Looking at her makes me feel warm, which was a strange feeling for me, I'd never felt like this before. I not only watched her, but noticed her team mates as well. Flea market, or Kiba, doesn't seem very fond of me, since he likes to swear at me a lot, oh well, some people take longer to become better friends with. Shino is usually quiet, but will usually get into an argument with flea market or penisless.

I didn't give Shino a nickname because I couldn't find one that suited him well enough. Hinata didn't get an nickname because.....there wasn't really a name I could call her but her own name. I can't really explain to you any better as to why I couldn't stop staring at Hinata, she is such a sweet girl really, and is way more beautiful than most women make themselves look. She has a.......natural beauty, the type you don't see very often, and I mean that in a serious manor. Oh, did I mention that we left yet? I guess not, but anyway. We're all walking around now, until we stopped to rest. And of course, I'm still watching her, in a way no one, not even she, would ever notice. Every time I look at her smiling face, I feel very warm inside. This time, this 'warmth' is stronger than before. I need to look into this feeling. It is strange and I can't even come up with a reasonable explanation for this feeling. And I have to admit that--

I am completely confused.

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It's the next day, and in order to find out about these 'feelings', I had to confront Sakura. I know it's suicide, but she is really the only person I know who doesn't tell everyone your business. It didn't take me a while to find her, her hair makes it easy to spot her in any crowd.

"Sakura-san", I said. She turned around to see me and stood with her hands on her hips.

"Oh, hey! You needed something?", she asked me.

"Yes, I need for you to explain something to me, and I have to tell you, I seriously need to know", I said back. If had said what I was actually thinking, I would probably have a serious concussion, but I'm glad I changed my mind.

"Oh really?! What would that be?", she asked smiling. She must really be interested now.

" Well....what does it mean when you see someone, and they make you feel......warm inside....and when you see them, they make you happy......what is that?", I asked her. Sakura look at me like I was crazy.

"Well Sai.....feeling like that around a person usually means that.....you like them!", she said. Hmm......like? No, I don't like Hinata.....it feels as if....there's more than that.

" Well....what if you can't stop thinking about that person, like they never leave your thoughts.....and you always want to be near them? Is that 'liking' as well
or something more?", I asked her again. Then she said to me;

"Well, it's still liking that person, but it is more. It means you love that person, and love is a strong feeling. Satisfied?", she asked me.

"Yes, very", I replied. I started to walk away when she stopped me.

"But why do you ask?", she wondered curiously. I felt it best that I kept the truth to myself.

"No reason, just wondering", I told her. She shrugged waving me goodbye.

Love, Hm? I'll have to look into this 'love'.

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Love; a strong affection or liking for someone or something. Hmm.....love.....I have to admit, there is a very strong possibility that I do 'love' Hinata. Of course, the question is, how do I love when I am not suppose to have any emotions? This puzzles me so, but there is a possible way for everything I suppose. And I just have to tell you, I had a very strange dream about Hinata and I last night. It's the first dream of this variety I've ever had......we 'made out', in my dream. You can probably imagine that I was very surprised to have this dream. I actually feel ashamed of having a dream like that. But, I suppose it couldn't be helped, I cannot control the dreams that I have.